the last few weeks before Caden was born were filled with anticipation, anxiety, and excitement. it was crazy to me that after 9 months, we were about to hold our baby boy in our arms. throughout my pregnancy, i was very anti-research. i didn't want to know what the labor and delivery was gonna be like. i didn't want to read about different birthing techniques. i did, however, want to try to do a natural labor. which seems a little strange since i didn't want to prepare at all for the labor. i just knew that it would be an incredible spiritual experience; to completely draw all my strength from the Lord.
so with little to no expectations, i spent the last few weeks anticipating the unknown. i was really crampy every day and at each doctor's appointment i was told i was 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. so at the end of each night {from 36 weeks until Caden was born} i would say to matt, "what if tonight's the night i go into labor?" i asked that with a lot of excitement and fear. i so badly wanted to meet Caden but i also feared going through labor and becoming a mom. what were contractions going to feel like? could i really do it naturally in this day and age? will i be a good mom? how do you take care of a newborn? and on and on. but, there's a reason God gives us 9 months of waiting, because it's in the waiting that He readied me enough to want to face all my fears just to meet our sweet boy.
On October 17, 2016 at 1 am my water broke. I was praising God for this because i knew we'd have to be admitted to the hospital instead of playing a guessing game with my contractions. we took our time getting our bags in the car and calling loved ones since we knew it'd be a long road ahead before our baby would come. little did we know he'd make an appearance just 9 hours later.
we arrived at the hospital at 2:30 am and at that point i wasn't really feeling contractions. i was 5 cm dilated and fully effaced when they checked me in. i was in a happy and excited mood, ready to conquer labor and meet our boy.
we were moved to the labor and delivery room at 3:30 am and we started walking the halls to speed up labor. i started to feel contractions but they were just strong cramps. at 4 am we returned to our room and i decided to labor in the bathtub a little bit to see if that would help as contractions were progressing. during this phase of labor matt and i listened to worship songs and he held my hand through each contraction. at 5 am i asked matt to call our dear friend Lauren Anderson to help me through the transition phase of labor. Lauren is a midwife and was a Godsend to me during the final hours of labor!
Lauren arrived at 6 am (if i remember correctly) and at that point i asked to be checked again. i was 7 cm dilated. i never even thought about getting the epidural. i felt like the Lord gave me confidence to face the harder phase of labor that lay ahead. Lauren helped me with different positions to bear through the contractions as they were coming a lot stronger and faster. she was so encouraging, and her and matt made a great team as my support system. i'm sure their hands were aching the next day since i was squeezing them so hard at each contraction.
when the contractions were too strong to bear i asked to be checked again around 7:30 am or 8 am. I was 9 1/2 cm dilated at that point. they told me to go ahead and start pushing if i felt like it. and at 8:30 am i was 10 cm dilated and officially ready to push. i was SO relieved and knew we'd be meeting Caden very soon.
i ended up pushing for TWO hours. it was the worst pain of my life. it took literally ALL of me to push through the contractions, to no avail. Caden was crowning the whole time but would not come out. i felt hopeless and in despair. i was exhausted and weary and SO thirsty. i kept looking to matt for help and all he could say was, "he's coming soon." i cried out to the Lord after every push begging him to bring our baby out. i knew i had to rely on His strength and not my own because i had none left.
at the end of the two hours at 10:39 am on October 17, 2016 Caden Lee Taylor was born. he weighed 6 lbs 14 oz and was 21.5 inches long. he was so beautiful. and i was so overjoyed to meet him.
looking back, it was such a spiritual experience. i felt like the Spirit was completely covering me and getting me through each contraction. and at my weakest point, His strength kept me going. i felt His presence the entire time. i am forever grateful for Matt, Lauren, Dr. Rush, and nurse Kelly for getting me through the labor and delivery. it was the hardest thing i've ever done, but it was so so worth it. i'm so grateful the Lord gave us a healthy baby boy, Caden Lee.
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